John Galt Presents: With Introspection

I'm on a limited return engagement here, at the keyboard. My plan is to publish for 6 or 8 weeks more until the conclusion of the pending law suit with Clayton Wade. While here, I plan to explore a few things that I had not explored before. I'm going tell you a little more about myself and make it relevant to my stay here in Thailand.

This week I'm taking a lead from an email that I received from a former girlfriend who is in US. I consider her the love of my life in that looking back, she would have been the one to marry and live out my life with. I really loved this woman more than any other. She inspired me. She was incredibly beautiful. She had poise and a subtle style that presenter her as likeable to everyone she met. All eyes would turn we she walked into a room. I always viewed her as someone that was somewhat naive and an explorer at heart. She had the whole world at her feet back then. It's been 20 years since I've held that body. Not to belittle her in any way by just talking about her physically, I'll tell you that she had it all. A modeling body that would have certainly been appropriate for a centerfold, a beautiful face. Smart. She had (still has) a personality and character that is far beyond my level of character. As far as I'm concerned, her integrity and willingness to do the right things towards others (even when it is to her own determent) is beyond reproach. I'm completely convinced that there are not many like her in whole world.

We had a break up that was somewhat unusual. (I'll try to put this in a nutshell for you) After being going out with me for about 7 months, she had a feeling as if I wasn't exactly her type of guy and that she needed to go off for a few years and explore other options. Immediately after that "dissolution" I was feeling fairly down about it and as it happened another girl made it into my bed about 5 days after that point. That one night romp was just something to do to help mend my wounds. Hind sight, it wasn't even that interesting because my heart was still solidly in another place. Several days later, my girlfriend changed her mind, she said the she missed me and I encouraged her return. We pick up again and had another delightful perfect 7 weeks together and then she makes a decision to ask me if I had another lover during our one week break up. Slightly unhappy and caught off-guard I offer up a little protest to her inquiry and remind her that we agreed not to talk about our time of separation.... and in those few fateful moments she read my face and then I confirmed to her what she could already see. And that was the end. She said to me, "Keith, how could you?" She said it over and over again. She couldn't even sleep next to me anymore. This little impromptu question and answer session happened around 1am and I drove her home that very night and that was the end of our intimate relationship. It could be argued that I didn't do anything wrong, but that is not how other people can see things... anyhow, that was the end... fast forwarding now ....

I kept in touch with her. From time to time I would test the waters and open up dialog about that fact that I still cared for her. My efforts were always very politely rebuffed. Months past.... Years past. I slowly began to accept the eventuality that we would not be reuniting. She has several subsequent boyfriends and around 1995 she married. Within 2 more years they were having their first child. Around 1998 she was pregnant again with child #2 and beginning to realize all was not well with her marriage. She went through an awaking of sorts and begin to feel resentment for being in a life that wasn't hers. She was struggling greatly with what to do. I was in Florida at the time, she was in California. When I made a move to the west cost in 1999, she freaked out thinking that I was moving there only for her. In my mind that was not true, it was only one of the possible benefits. In 2001 I left California for Thailand. Soon after I left the US, she was divorcing (GD it. She just had to wait until I left to get her ship together).

She actually called on me to return to the US saying that she was ready to open up the possibility of getting back together with me. Sadly, I told that I had made a firm decision to move my life out of the US. I had a number of reasons for doing so and one of them was to be selfish. I told her that I had to do what was best for me.

In the past couple of years, she and I have been in minor contact. She is trying to get her life back on a track where she is happier. I think she misses being in exploration mode, tied down with a house and two kids and a rotten X-husband who faults her with the divorce. (he is a megalomaniac)

Anyhow, she has been expressing some disappointment with herself for perhaps not getting back together with me so many years ago. We sporadically talk on the phone and mostly we email to each other. Last week she emailed me and part of that email went like this:

You ask a some good questions. I'm been thinking about how to answer these for the better part of a week now.

First I need to tell you that I'm not the same sweet trusting person that I was 20 years ago. I have had to toughen up and start protecting myself better and putting myself absolutely first. I learned over so many years that if I didn't take care of myself, that no one else could be trusted implicitly to take care of me in difficult times. I have to fully accept that fact that no one else will be there for me. I must be ready at all times to do for myself. So, as you might expect I feel somewhat selfish in that regard. I don't think being selfish doesn't mean that you don't do things for others, what it does mean is that you have to take care of yourself first. And when you're properly built up and strong and enabled with talent and energy, then you have the freedom to do things for others. And I'm not willing to allow anyone to strip away from me anything that I'm not willing to give. It's my choice - always.

I also learned not to take to heart what other people felt about who I was. If someone else liked who I was, that was fine. If they didn't well, that was not going to change me. I learned that if I cared too much about what others where saying then they would inevitability use my feeling to take control of me. I'm fully determined to keep a correct balance about how much I believe in what others say and what I know to be true for my life.

Another thing that I feel that is really important is that I take full responsibly for my actions. I don't blame my parents for any lack of opportunities in my life. I don't explain away my mistakes on having a poor childhood. If something doesn't go right and IF there is fault to be assessed then it's not anyone's else fault other than my own.

I just looked back at what I have written already and it reads very harsh. I really wish this answer was softer and more fuzzy. But it can not be. I believe that I would NOT be happy without this type of attitude in the way that I view myself and the way I put myself first.

However, just this isn't the whole answer. What you're reading here is me in 110% drive. This could be viewed as my super-hero mode. This is the life force that I use to power through my challenges. However, no one holds themselves at this level of energy and focus ad infinitum. Not even super heroes can do that. We all have limits. If you look back at the classic comic book characters then you see that Super Man would take refuge in his fortress of solitude, Batman has his Batcave and so on. Now, comic book characters are not real people, and I'm not just modeling myself after one of them but the comic book writers over the years have been drawing their ideas from what normal humans have already. We have all have quite a bit of power (albeit not at the level of a super hero). We can readily identify with super heroes because deep down inside we sense some of what powers and virtues.

Let's say for a moment I had the opportunity to choose to be a super-hero. I think I would choose Flash. I relate to him. He's a runner - I'm a runner. The guy has the ability to move and run and very high speeds, but he can't do that in an unlimited way. He wears himself out if doesn't slow down and recover. Recuperation is part of his required process.

When I'm exercising I feel something very similar. I may go out for 25 really high energy minutes (and in my advancing age this is not such a great feat) and when I return I feel good and I'm comfortable, but later that night I feel the loss in energy and I have to rest very deeply to recover. I take all the time I need to fully rest and mend. I don't cut my sleep short. Sometimes it takes 2 full days for me to physically recover from a run. But, when I'm recovered, I seem to have extra energy.

What I just described is a natural cycle. And putting your life and your efforts into cycling pattern is a very powerful tool. Life and nature are full of cycles. Night and day, winter and summer, growth and death. I believe we all need to take advantage of these types of natural cycles to become our best. We need to know when to surge and to recede -- physically we exert and then rest, emotionally wax and wane .

I an convinced that if you don't push yourself beyond your "suspected" limits, you won't realize your full potiential.

I would theorized that if a person is restrained on a physical level and held down to 40% of their capabilities everyday, that their body will automatically downgrade their power to the point where 40% will be all they can do. At some point, 40% feels like 100% of your efforts. And when you know your power is down, you get depressed, you get worried, you feel death. How can anyone be happy feeling death approaching?

Conversely, if you push yourself to 80 or 100% on occasion then everything else in your life starts to feel easy. Normal activities start to feel like 30% effort. And your body in response builds up your power levels. Now, you're feeling younger and clean and smooth inside. In fact, you feel so damn good, that you just don't want to screw it up by skipping sleep, or drinking alcohol. Drugs are the furthest thing from your mind because you're feeling a natural and powerful balance of energies inside. Exercise releases endorphins -- so exercise produces is its own form of a natural high.

Here is one more key thing you need to understand about exercise. If you wait until you feel you need it -- then you've waited too long to do it. You must exercise ahead of any degeneration your body may do. You must instinctively know when to invest your current energies to build new energies. That takes some experience. That takes some experimentation. If you listen to the signals, your body will help guide you.

I just saw this article on cnn.com today. Look at the lines that I highlighted.... Man has what feels like a near death experience, he becomes selfish, he starts exercising and continues most everyday, he develops an incredible sense of pride, feels like a super-hero -- and now has never been happier in his life.

I can guarantee you that this guy pushed himself way beyond his limits (or what he thought were his limits).

If you're doing that on a regular basic, you're going to feel empowered, you're going to feel that there is nothing you really can not do. And damn it, you're going to feel happy.

He wasn't happy with his weight and neither were his doctors. In addition to taking medication for high blood pressure and cholesterol -- his physician warned him that he was on track to become a diabetic.

Reality hit in January 2006 at a Pittsburgh Steelers game. Novak had gone to smoke a cigarette.

"We were walking back up to our seats, and I started getting winded," says Novak. "I didn't feel right, I started sweating. I didn't think I would make it back up. My heart [was] beating a million times a minute; I thought I was having a heart attack."

Novak stood against a cold wall for 20 minutes to catch his breath. Fortunately, he wasn't having a heart attack but he was so frightened that thoughts of his family began to race through his mind.

"A lot of things went through my head, about saying goodbye to my kids," says Novak choking back his tears. "I told my friend, 'This is it, I'm not going to live like this no more.' "

Novak, who was approaching his 40th birthday, made it through the football game. As he ate two double-cheeseburgers and a milkshake, he began to think about the limitations of obesity and how it was keeping him from living a full life.

Novak said the extra weight kept him from riding bikes with his kids. He dreaded doing anything physical like mowing the grass, shoveling snow or just moving -- period. Novak says even sleeping became difficult.

"When I was big, I could only sleep one way ... so I could support my belly," says Novak. "My back always hurt ... I could barely sleep and I remember always being tired." The next day, Novak devised his own game plan and started his weight-loss journey.

He began simply by walking -- one mile a day and eating a low-carbohydrate diet of 15-30 grams a day.

"I walked off my first 100 pounds," he says. "Walked it off, an hour a day. I lost 100 pounds in seven months."

Novak continued to lose weight and as he built up his endurance he started jogging. Even though he had never belonged to a gym, he wanted to incorporate strength training. But the first time he went to the gym, he was intimidated by the loud music and weight lifters. He says he quickly "scampered" out and tried a few other places until he finally found a club where he felt comfortable.

Two years later, Novak has lost a total of 192 pounds. Today, he runs 30 to 40 miles a week, works out two to three hours a day, does yoga in the morning and squeezes in a push-up whenever he gets a chance at work.

Now maintaining his weight at 195 pounds, Novak says he's made a lifestyle change and rarely takes a day off from exercise.

Still, he doesn't take all of the credit for his weight loss. Novak says he couldn't have done it without the support of his family -- which he thanks for allowing him to be selfish.

"I am so proud of myself ... for the first time in my life," beams Novak. "Besides my kids, [this is] the first time I'm proud of myself."

Novak says losing weight has boosted his confidence and made him realize that he can do anything he sets his mind to. He says people also treat him differently and no longer stare at him. In fact, he enjoys the fact that people, who haven't seen him in a while, recognize only his Pittsburgh accent.

When he looks back at pictures of himself at nearly 400 pounds, he says it's hard to believe he treated his body that way.

Would he ever go back to being heavy?

"No way! Ain't going back there ... won't do it, can't do it," says Novak.

"I've never been happier in my life!"

Sweetheart -- I need to tell you that you're quite different from me when it comes to sex. You have always feel that sex required a serious relationship with the man that you were intimate with. I admire you for that type of decision but I think that robs you of energy. I think we all need a certain level of intimacy to re-charge ourselves. Thailand is a great place as a source of intimacy for me because their attitudes about having sex are not quite so puritan as it can be in the west. I think in this way Thailand is not as repressive about sex. Sex on a semi-regular basis keeps me from being distracted. When I'm satisfied with my sex life; I focus better on my work. I also naturally feel happier. However, I apply cycling to sex. I simply don't have it everyday and I vary the frequency considerably. Sometimes I goes weeks without and then sometimes when I have a new friendship brewing I'm involved with it quite a bit. I keep my interludes honest and I try to keep the right understanding with the girl that I'm involved with. So, It think sex is an important factor in being happy. Don't deny yourself this when it is a prudent choice. You don't have to wait to be in love first to partake. It can be a healthy exchange between friends.

I like where I am in the world. I've been in the small town almost 6 years now. I can't remember when I've last been anywhere for 6 years straight.

I have learned to enjoy the moment. I feel very connected to the community and the people. Hardly a day goes by that I don't interact with someone here in the town. Sometimes this is just a simple as seeing someone eye to eye and exchanging a greeting. Other times I'm buying food at a restaurant and talking with the employees, or I'm flirting with the girl over the counter at a 7-11. It varies everyday.

Frequently though, I take time to talk to kids. I never tire of it. Children are more important to me now than they ever were before in my life.

I was in a Lotus Tesco last weekend (kind of like a Wal Mart back in the states) and sitting and eating a table, alone. A family had arrived at a table next to me. Mother, father and several kids in tow. The little girl lagged behind at the table as the rest of the family walked off to order their food and bring it back. The little girl as about 5 feet away from me and looking past my shoulder towards her mom. She was talking to the mother at a distance and she looked so happy and smiled. How can you not feel a sense of happiness for this little bundle of energy? This little girl was normal in most respects except for a single apparent birth defect. She was born with her eyes crossed. I would say in her case, about 40% crossed. This is a semi-common birth defect here and it's hurts your heart see this in an otherwise very normal child. Just then, the little girl looked over in my direction -- because I was looking right at her -- and very quickly I tried to determine what eye she was using to see me - as one eye will usually be dominate. I made every effort to look at her dominant eye because I wanted this little girl to know that she is important enough to be seen.

Moments like these are incredibly important to the kids. I'm a foreigner here. I stand out as perhaps a mystery to them. I have a high responsibility to always present my best. Everything I do both positive and negative does have a high impact on their lives, and so it is with a great sense of belonging to the community that I give these kids a positive experience.

(The remainder of my letter to my x-girlfriend has been not shown here to keep this topic brief.)

This is the girl behind the email. I met her and her mother on Christmas night 1986 at a night club named The Ocean Club in Tampa Florida. Then again by chance I ran into them again 6 days later on New Years night at another night club called Sydney's on Fowler blvd. It was on that second night that I asked for her phone number.

She saved my life. This was the relationship helped me learn what a good relationship was all about. I was always rather saddened by her decision to call things to an end but I was also willing to accept her choices. I loved her so much that I never wanted to change who she was. In my mind I was always walking with a princess.

This relationship became the one I measured all others by. In the 20 years since not one other has meant as much to me. And if I returned to the US someday, I would probably be returning to investigate resuming my relationship with her. I really see no other significant reason to return.

Let me show you what you probably didn't see before. In this article about 70% down on the page. Stickman writes one very large paragraph about how one of his friends was chased by the gang who are ripping off foreigners with the gem stone scams in Bangkok. Stickman called this guy a long time Stickman reader and friend.

Stickman was on a roll. He was extolling the virtues of acting in "the best interests of 14 million international visitors". He said this his friend even did the work of the police and email pictures of the scam artists to the authorities. This guy even posted this information on-line to help thwart the activities of these scammers.

Stickman even wrote in his column that his friend is a hero. Stickman went to some lengths in the article to bad mouth the responsiveness and effectiveness of the police....

And for a moment I though perhaps Stickman was changing his spots and was not willing to stand against this type of behavior -- but at the end of the article... I see this wasn't so.

NOT only does he say "this story does re-iterate that one should never mess with a Thai's rice bowl"

But , he doesn't even have the nerve to publish the link to the web site where we all could see these scammers for ourselves.

What is the "call to action" in this article you ask? Does Stickman make any call to action? I would say no. His main intent is in just stealing the entertainment value out of this incident at the expense of his friend. Stickman is just too concerned about his own sorry ass to be of any greater value here.

Personally, I think people should mess with another person's rice bowl when the person holding that bowl is stealing out of someone else's rice bowl.

That is why I questions some of what Stickman publishes on-line when it comes to his own personal revenue generating practices.

And shame on you Stickman for using your friend to help boost the value of your weekly column. The least you could have done was honor your friend's work with a link to his site. After all, that is what your friend is trying to accomplish.

He wants others to see and know what the gem scam is all about. That's his mission. And its an honorable mission. If Stickman doesn't have enough respect to follow through and fully support his cause then he really shouldn't be using the story to build his column.

Perhaps Stickman can't handle the duplicity of publishing crime fighting news on one hand when he his other hand reaching into readership pockets with bogus and highly questionable web articles?

Will Inflation/Recession Woes Shake the Foundation of Thai Tourism Next Year?

There has been quite a bit of news lately that prices are set to increase in the US. Hershey and Tyson foods will be adjusting their prices up ward soon. Black and Decker reported that they would need to pass along cost increases due to the increased pricing of raw material (like metals). Commodities like corn, soybean, and wheat are sharply up over the past couple of months.

That, coupled with the talk of recession will most certainly have an impact to tourism next year.

BUT, perhaps other businesses here may be ok? I have to tell you that my business is looking up. I am still optimistic that manufacturing and export of goods can be a solid position in Thailand.

Half of my business is in the sale motorcycle turn signals. That business has recently had a lower income due to the exchange rate but my sales have not decreased. Product for product, I see sales holding as more consumers are moving from car transportation to motorcycle transportation. I actually saw this trend a year ago when gasoline prices shot up.

My company is also producing LED electronics and controls.

My new line of products is taking shape. That technology will also be valuable in the years to come. The profit margin is higher on this side of the business, so the exchange rates are not going to hurt me too much at this point.

Here is a product that I just finished up. I call this the Rebel Square. I made the printed circuit board. The LEDs are made by Luxeon Phillips. These LEDs are extremely small (4mm x 2mm). Phillips sells the LEDs indiv

idually. I believe I am the first one to actually mount these on a normal copper clad (gold plated) FR4 printed circuit board. This board is 12mm by 12mm. It's the smallest mounting that I know of available for this LED product.

It's a simple idea and a logical approach to the solution. And I think it was easy. I simply logically put the square peg in the square hole and made a product this fits a need.

I'm pretty sure this is going to be a popular product. Particularly so because we are here in Thailand with lower production costs.

I have to laugh, I was watching Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger on TV a few days ago. He was at manufacturing plant in CA where they make solar power products and he was saying that the whole world was going to buy these products. Silly Arnold, (said with an Austrian accent), most of the people in the world are going to buy products from Asia where the production costs are lower. Even if the products here are only 80% as good as US engineered goods, the majority of the world (Chinese, Indians, and Europeans) are unlikely to buy from the US. Hell, the US is going to buy from us too.

China, Korea, Japan, India, and other places in Asia like Thailand, will likely be the top producers of most products for many years to come - and mainly because we either work harder (Japan) or we are willing to live at a lower standard of living.

Here is a translation of the law concerning slander. Sections 326, 328, and 332. There really isn't that much to it....

Has anyone noticed the weakness in Clayton's case yet? I would say there is 3 or 4 of them.

One who impute the other to the third persons by means to impair the reputation, get look down, hatered. That one does the guilty by defamation. The punishment is to not over one year imprisonment, fine not over 20,000 baht or both punishments.

If the guilty of defamation by advertising, document, drawing, paint, moving photo, or by the letter, vocal (voice) vcd. The punishment not over 2 years imprisonment, fine not over 20,000 baht.

The defendant did guilty by defamation as the judgment say is guilty. Then the accused must 1) To take and destroy the exhibits. 2) Advertise the judgment in the newspaper the defendant pay.

I had a reader give me the scoop on Miss Udon. Without going into too much detail, she was a real writer for Stick, and unknown to me, the readership gave her hell over a comment about how a cheating guy should have his man-hood lopped off if he is caught out sampling other fine Thai flesh.

I don't think that Mrs. Stickman has any thicker skin, but she is not bold enough to really jump into the mix either. She's afraid to really dive into a tough subjects like this if her views are contrary to want farangs will accept. This is why you see her giving really sheepish advice sometimes. But people, this is the Thai way -- frequently.

Perhaps Miss Udon would have been the new Stickman sweetheart if she would have just stood her ground. Readers won't always agree with an author, but if you can stand up and take some heat, at least readers respect you for being willing to stand your ground.

After being away for 5 months, the numbers have been down and hovering at about 100 visitors per day. Publishing last week of my pending law suit shot the visitors up to around 300 for that Thursday. This is pretty good. I had several forums post conversation about the pending law suit with Clayton Wade. Links came in from TeakDoor, Pattya-Addicts, Thai360, and a short post on Thai-Anxiety.com.

Interesting thing though -- Pattaya-Addicts just couldn't stand the fact that I was back, and not only did they close down a thread on their site but also deleted it from their system too. Their puppeteer DaveTheRaveBangkok probably swooped down on that and called out that shot. He is not above getting bossy with the PA moderators. Sadly enough -- DaveTheRave's weekly column has turned into a collection of somewhat pathetic postings (that is just my opinion Dave so please don't sue me ;).

However, do you know where I get the most traffic from? Unbelievably, every month I get the most click through traffic from a simple link located at BangkokBob.net. It's true. I guess a larger number of readers use his link page as their placeholder for all the web sites they like to visit and just go there before they branch out. So, if you can get a link on the BangkokBob.net site, then you should see regular visitors.

When I write the Non-Stickman column, I come off like a little bit of an ass. I'm presumptuous, I'm bold, brash, and generally cocky. Part of that is just my brand of humor. I'd rather be a little bit over the top rather than just bore you with a mundane presentation. However, this column tells you a little bit about myself and how I have come to create the life that I have here in Thailand. It's not a perfect life, but its one that is most certainly valuable and worth living. I feel before coming to Thailand that I have spent my entire life looking building a future -- and here I see that my future as now.

Everyday, I seem to find a way to live in the moment. I feel empowered. I feel connected to the community. I feel responsible for taking an active part. I'm not afraid.

What I have done is not for everybody. Some just want to come over and relax in their retirement. That is a fine decision. Some want to come over and teach a little English and with students. That is ok too. Some want to restart their lives and marry again and have more children. I think that is a fine decision also.

Thailand can be a great place to make those choices a reality. If you come over here, may I suggest you take the time to invest in your health -- build yourself up. Plan it out so you have time to not cut yourself short on sleep. Eat as well as you can. Find a reason to kick the beer to the curb. It's only poison in a bottle.

On the business end, do a lot of research before you buy any larger ticket item. There are lots of ways to be defrauded here and once your money is gone -- its gone. Most of the time it's impossible to get back moneys lost in the business deal gone sour.

It's buyer beware here - the legal system is weak to protect you here. DO NOT trust my word just because I say it -- ask around. Gather information from friends who you meet along the way. Keep your ear to the ground and gather up general information and then sift through it and read between the lines before committing to any purchases or ventures. Hedge your bets. Go slowly at first until you really have a firm handle on "how it works" here. Don't bring your nest egg here and think you have found utopia and throw common sense out the window. Business ventures and investments in Thailand (like most Asian countries I suspect) are a lot of work. If you're running a business, you better watch it like a hawk and run it with an iron fist.

Also, don't just mind your Ps and Qs (The brits refer to this as your Pints and Quarts <of beer>). You're coming to Thailand with an advantage of a superior education, and advanced experiences. Take some time to share that with your community. Do a few things. Don't pass up an opportunity to talk to the kids. Have yourself an Art Linkletter moment. I believe you can formulate a lifestyle here that will give you back a lot of happiness. And when you're happy, its easier to be at the top of your game. You're healthier. You're sleeping better. You're feeling your super-hero qualities.