John Galt Presents: Lowering The Cost of Fun

There are a fair number of x-pats in the Kingdom and one of the things I here often is their displeasure with the rising cost of fun (ie. getting laid is getting expensive). So it is also in the west my friends.

You have to be in the correct frame of mind. You have to be on your game and executing decisions and moving with precision. Doubt and indecision are not an option. The night is yours to command and you need to be exuding the spirit of caption walking about the ship when inside a club.

As you moving among the people, you look good, you feel good, you have what the girls want (not just money). You have style, you have pep. In every pocket is a surprise and all you need to do is locate a girls that sees all these things in you.

If there is any doubt in your mind.... then do some acting. Why not? Pick a virtual side kick and pretend you're hanging with the masters of female procurement.

When you are on the prowl, it helps to hang with the big dogs. It provides synergy. If all your buddies are porch sitters then you'll just have to come up with some virtual co-conspirators. Here are two really great choices. Both of these guy fit the required profile.

	Take a look at this guy. He is 69 year old. Slightly over-weight, bald, wrinkled. He has nice teeth and the charming smile. None of the girls in the in the naughty night life scene would know who he is. But, this guy has spirit and even though he can't speak the language, he's 100% confident.

How about this guy? Today is his birthday (Sept 21st) He is 56 today, Happy Birthday Bill. He is very slim and balding a bit but despite his grey hair, he is pure ladies man and and can charm the pants off any girl with nothing more than a spatula and some pancake syrup.

Despite their good hygiene and total confidence, these 2 guys have something else in common that makes them a winner with girls (from any country). They can make the girls laugh the greatest of ease.

Enter a club and scan the room. Look around like you're a bar owner and going to purchase the place and you're just there to see if the girls are all having fun. If the girls are not having fun, leave immediately.

If a host or hostess hits on you to sit down, just say you're looking for one of your friends. Take a long slow stroll around the bar.

Check out all the girls. Look for signs from them. Are any looking at you sideways? At this point you DON'T want to put two fingers up over your chin make the "V" sign and stick your tongue out -- that just won't do. Remember, think Nicholson/Murray and what would these guys do.

Never forget one of the fundamental rules of bargaining. The person who cares the least is in the most control..

See a hot one? You can walk right up to her and flirt with her without saying a word. Just ease into her personal space very slowly, give her a little smile, a curious look, lean in, and take a sniff near her ear (not inside her ear) and make the "Hummm" sound like you just smelled something great. See what she does.

Or walk over to her like you're checking out a beautifully restored '66 Corvette Stingray. Look at one side, then the other. Shake your head yes (your eye brows raise up for a moment). Then right in front of her, while she is smiling at you, shrug your shoulders slip your hands in your pockets. Let's your head tip to the side and give her a Conan O'Brian smile and hold your position and just smile at her. Let her make the next move. Wait there 30 seconds if you have too while she is reacting. No reaction? Spin around and look away, then slowly look back in her direction again. Did you catch her interest this time? Is she intrigued?

Let her be the one who decides she want to take a look at you. Don't be too eager. And certainly, don't be afraid to walk away. I have walked away from many just to be invited into the arms of another hotter girl at a different bar.

The key here is to make the girl you want -- choose you. That keeps the price down to the right level.

If you run into a club and chase the hot babe and she sees you drooling, you many not be in for the best time of it. She'll know she holds the power. You have to keep her off balance and eager for you.

This won't work with all girls so don't let that bother you. In Thailand, the saying is "Its up to You". Be prepared to walk away.

Think that I'm just being silly and sophomoric? Take another look at those girl in the picture. On their off time they are back at their rooms staring at poster of young Thai hunks and listening to old sound tracks of the Back Street Boys. And you my friend are an old fart. I am too. But you too can move and grove if you mumble to yourself "Nicholson/Murray" "Nicholson/Murray". I'll bet you 2 ladies on the left side of the yellow line that my suggestions in this column will work well for you.

I believe I was in the Carousel go-go bar in Nana Plaza about 18 months ago and I was with Mr X and the boys. (I was with the big dogs for real on this trip) I spied an average-to-nice girl on stage. She was in the buff and looking good, about 23 years old. She was one of a couple of ladies vying for my attention. She later came down stood next to me at one of the rails (I don't like to sit too much -- it takes away the energy of the evening -- I like to stand and dance around a little). Anyhow, we were chatting and all, and some good music came on and I did my little dance "thing" with her. Sometimes I joke around and grab the girls hands and lead her into an under arm turn. Just for fun. Like we're couple dancing for real. To my surprise, this girl had been taking some Samba lessons at a nearby ball room dance studio nearby on her off-time. She went right into a little dance routine and we did a few steps on a side floor right there in the club. My Samba was really rusty but I winged it. Mamasaan came over and wanted a piece of the action. I lead her through a couple of east coast swing steps. Not much, just few things. I went back to playing with the go-go girl for maybe 30 minutes tops. I bought one drink for myself one for her, and without further delay, I bar-fined the girl (600 baht). She and I were having so much fun, I didn't even ask her what her normal price was (as sometimes you should ask before you bar fine her so you'll have a basic idea of the girl's expectations). In this case, she wanted me that night. We went back to my hotel and we enjoyed and nice hot bath together (and water wasn't overly hot, she was). I think we also have fun the next morning in bed. I gave her 1.5k baht and she was quite happy with it (remember this was about year and a half ago so prices were a bit more relaxed then).

The point is: If you're going to keep the price down, the night needs to become something other than a business deal. You need to distract her away from the "job". Makes senses doesn't it? The second thing to remember is that you need to get out of the club quickly before you blow all your cash on drinks. Call me cheap but I like to spend money on the girls where I get the greatest pleasure for my hard earned dollar (baht).

I have really only scratched the surface here. There are certainly many more ways to make an evening interesting with a girl in Thailand. Many of these girls will may not even be in the bar industry.

Here, being middle age is not a problem as it is in the west. If you're any shape, any size, any age, you too can make a connection with ease. With some luck, you'll have a wild time of it.

High season is just around the corner. A fair number of you will be showing up in the next several months for a vacation. Part of that vacation will require that you visit ATM machines. They are very safe to use here. However, be aware that banks are experiencing higher rates of fraud in Thailand and Bangkok seems to be an especially sensitive area.

If you roll in there without having contacted your bank and letting them know you are here, they can turn off your ATM card upon a large unexpected cash withdrawal. I've had this occur with 2 different banks. A single phone call got the cards turned back on but it will scare you. You don't need the aggravation. Before you leave from the states or from Europe, call the number on your ATM card and let them know you are going to be in Thailand. They will set a marker on your account to be less strict for a month.

ALSO, ATM fees have been on the rise. 5 years ago, a normal ATM fee was only about 1.50 USD. Now some ATM fees are a flat $5 PLUS 2%. That is a heavy fee.

I recommend that you get a PayPal ATM card before you coming here. PayPal charges only 1$ for a withdrawal of up to $400 USD. However, you must calculate the exchange rate correctly before the withdrawal. If you accidentally go over the limit by a certain amount, PayPal will deactivate the card (thinking a thief has it) and it won't be apparent what the problem is. Again, you would have to call them to turn the card back on. Right now $400 USD converted is about 14,500 baht. The difference between an Bank of America ATM and a PayPal ATM withdrawal in the amount of $400 USD is $12 USD. That about a bar fine so you will save a fair amount with a PayPal ATM card in some cases depending on who you bank with.

Again, you'll also need to call PayPal to let them know you are coming here so they too will not flag the withdrawal as suspicious when you are here.

PayPal accounts can now be accessed in Thailand. A few years ago they could not be accessed here. But, be careful when you access your account here. Type part of your password in a blank word pad document. Copy and paste it into the PayPal login page, and then finish typing the final strokes of the password manually. That should protect you IF any spy software is running on that Internet cafe machine.

Don't believe me just because I say it's true. Come here for yourself and check it out. You might consider hooking up with one of several tour groups that come over on a periodic basis. Those services can be of great help to you.