John Galt Presents: No More --- In Thailand

The political climate is getting sticky. Thailand has put it's foot down. It's NOT taking any more crap from the world. Some solid changes are being issued from the governmental authorities and the Tourism Authority of Thailand. Officially, starting today, Thailand has decreed that around the world and on the Internet, no one is allow to use the --- word when referring to Thailand. Offenders will be subject to very severe penalties. There is talk around the foreign consulates. There is an increase in the news coverage on TV and on-line forums.

It is said that violators of this new all encompassing law inside Thailand will be charged with a crime in accordance to the "new face" policies and will be summarily required to leave Thailand and blacklisted from coming back. Others who are identified outside the Kingdom will have black marks listed against their names and will not ever be allowed to enter the Kingdom. Wow, this is some very serious action.

I hear that go-go and beer bar owners are scrambling to change their signs and remove all references to the --- word in any brochures and on-line advertisements they may have out right now.

The boys in brown starting on December 15th will be out patrolling to enforce compliance in removing the "---" word from any and all establishments that are displaying it.

This is serious move by Thai authorities to effectively clean up their image and project the "correct face" to the world. I have never seen an action quite like this one, but one thing is for sure; a lot of companies AND web sites are going to have to comply or be squashed by the Thailand authorities.

From now on, Thailand is not to be referred to as a --- destination. There are no more --- tours. --- is not officially available at the popular tourist destinations. The Thailand tourist control board in conjunction with the highest interim government officials worked over this issue very carefully and decided that each and every word "---" would be replaced by the word "Fun" so that changes in the counties image could be crafted into this new image seamlessly and without great expense to business owners. Therefore, from now on, all the local workers that would normally be without a designation will now be called "Fun" workers. And when you come here, you are on a "Fun" vacation. If you come here with a group from outside the country it's now called a "Fun" tour.

There has also be some talk about picture image replacement too. The rumor is that initial suggestions have been circulating about requiring any suggestive images of a female's breast to be over-laid with a yellow smiley face (one per each side). I'm not sure how this going to work out but one thing is for sure, the Thailand authorities are "cracking down" and we are just going to have to cope with changes around here.

Thankfully, we are being quietly assured by government officials that below the surface of this all encompassing image change, that all the inner workings of the tourist destinations will NOT change. Everything that we have now will continue to be in place long after the government implements this Thailand image "save face lift".

Well, that is sure comforting because like many of you, I like to have my "Fun" in Pattaya when I get that nasty little itch that needs just the right kind of scratching.

About 8 weeks ago I wrote a fun article on how to lower the cost of fun in your naught night life activities. One of my points was that you had to have the right spirit working for you so the outing is more interesting for the girls. If the girls is distractive from the job, price goes down and if they are not in the right mind set, the price tends to go up.

I suggested to put yourself in the mind set of Jack Nicholson or Bill Murray. Remember that article? If not, take a peek at it by clicking here.

A few weeks later I saw an article at cnn.com about Bill Murray. Guess what he was up to? That's right - he was invited to a party of young college co-eds. In my article I wrote, "he is pure ladies man and and can charm the pants off any girl with nothing more than a spatula and some pancake syrup". Well, take a look at the cnn.com aritcle and read about where he was "hanging out" at the party. Evidently Bill has a healthy appetite for young Scandinavian blondes. I would hang with him any day. Of course Bill would never say the --- word. He would just make sly suggestive remarks about "getting cooking in the kitchen" and "clearing some table space". Way to go Mr. Murray!

BIG P.S. - For all you hate mongers out there who have it out for The Galt -- please don't take a poke at Bill Murray if you happen to see him on the streets of Pattaya. I like Bill Murray and we are both cool in the same ways but we are not friends and he has no knowledge of about my anti-Stickman articles. OK? You got that figured out? Thanks.

Not everything in Pattya is about "Fun". Sometimes, good eating is just as important. When I am there, I always seem to make my way to Nang Nual. It's a very nice seafood restaurant just past Tony's Disco on Walking street. They have a location on both sides of the street. I tend to favor the left side of the street away from the waterfront. However, I have been on the waterfront side and it's beautiful over there as well.

They have quite a variety of dishes there -- I tend to eat the same things when I go. I favor a Salmon Steak and fresh vegetables. So, I can not tell you about their beef steaks and other assorted sea food. I have dined with others there on occasion I have not heard any complaints. Dollar for dollar, their food is a very good deal. I seem to always eat more there per dollar than in the lavish high end hotels that serve one price all you can eat buffets.

I have been to Nang Nual about 10 times over the years and I always get the quality I expect from them. I have really never had a complaint outside of slightly slow service on a few occasions. Their product is really solid. I enjoy recommending a place that I know you'll love. Nang Nual does not know who I am and they don't pay for this recommendation (this is way it should be). When you eat there, and you have a good experience then you know that The Galt and done the right thing by you and that is all that important to me. Pictures are clickable

The ordering process is fairly simple. You enter from Walking Street and approach the fresh vegetables and seafood "bar". You select the items you like and place them in a plastic basket. These are weighed out and so you'll place vegetables in one basket and main courses in the other. Lobster is weighted by itself; shrimp the same. They ask you how you want it cooked and mark that down. All these items are set aside together and the helpers that at this station will make sure it follows you to your table when the kitchen is finished with the cooking.

If you are not interesting in seafood, you can also select a number of other dishes and you see covered on display near by. The staff at Nang Nual make ordering look so easy. I don't know how they keep it all together with so many people that filter through the line. Everyone who enters orders on the way to their seat. That is quite a remarkable feat.

Here is what I picked out for my meal. I always grab a lot of vegetable as I know these are going to cook down into a smaller portions when finished. My Salmon steak is a pretty decent size. They tell me this Salmon came from Nova Scotia.

If you choose a steak, this is the guys who will cook it for you. You'll notice the hand winching system that lifts the steaks away from the fire when he needs to adjust the cooking temperature and put out "flame ups" from excess grease. This room is glass enclosed and you can see it right from the street and from inside the restaurant. I think watching this all happen is very much a part of the eating experience.

This is the end result of my selection. I believe cooking time was less than 20 minutes. The vegetables were crisp and delicious. The salmon -- grilled just right. I was barely able to finish it all. It was a great meal. I ordered 2 iced teas and my bill came up to 754 baht. That is about $20. The ices teas where over-priced at 50 baht ($1.36) each. However, the main meal seemed pretty reasonable especially considering the salmon is imported. The big hotel buffets cost more than this!

What's more, this restaurant doesn't force me to pay a gratuity with the bill. I get to choose the level of tip that I feel is appropriate. In the larger fancier places, sometime your are forced a 15% tip to the bill without a choice. In my book, that is not correct.

This is a small picture (the room is much larger) of their inside room that is air conditioned. They also have a lovely outdoor patio seating area (can't find that picture in my files). Both areas are excellent for dining.

You'll also see a fairly large wall of wines from around the globe. I'm not a wine connoisseur so I don't normally drink wines. So, I can't tell you with any credibility what their qualities are and how that compared to their prices. I did see a fairly large selection to choose from.

Nang Nual is a great place. Many people do already go there. It's no secret. If you are in Pattaya, walk far down into Walking Street, just a you pass Tony's Entertainment Complex (Tony's Disco), look on both sides of the street.

Speaking of food, I didn't bar fine any lovely ladies on this trip to Pattaya. I brought a companion along from the country. She had never seen Pattaya before and knew nothing of the "Fun" industry down there. She also enjoyed flying on a jet for the first time, going to the beach for the first time, and a number of other firsts.

On one of our first evening there, she wanted to see all of Pattaya beach so by her choice, we walked the entire length of the beach and wrapped around back to second road and walked all the way back to our hotel. I had no problem with this as I like the exercise. But a Thai girl wanting to walk 3 or 4 Km? I've never seen it before. Typically they walk 100 yards and they are tired. They typically hate to walk any distance.

Isn't she beautiful? She has great eyes and a very slender perfectly proportional body. Not a nicer person you'll find either. She is 22 this year. I have known her for about 2 years and this is the first time we had ever gone anywhere together. Sometimes taking a nice companion along is a great alternative to bar fining your entertainment. (of course that is if you happen to live here).

We went to a number of go-go bars and she was quite amused with this. She had never seen one before. She did talk to a couple of girls. She hit it off right away with the dancers as they are mostly from the same rural type backgrounds. She had a few beers and threw a few ping pong balls -- and so did I.

We took a day an Jomtiem Beach. She just had a blast with the continuous on-site service. She indulged herself with a pedicure and leg message and 3 or 4 orders of food and drink but, damn it! I couldn't get her on a Jet Ski. I tried really hard too. She just wasn't have'n it. I think she was afraid of her swimming skills out in open water (or she was afraid of mine?). See, now a local bar girl would have been up for a Jet Ski ride in a heartbeat.

For every 1 girl in Pattaya there are probably hundreds of country girls like this one. Most of these girls work on a different "clock" if you catch my drift.

These guys are either expecting a large number of English teaching jobs to open OR they are expecting a large glut of applicants to appear. With Visa rules tightening - you better be careful not to throw good

money after bad. Be very wary of guarantees for work in the English field.

I particularly like the credibility of the green sign -- but you can earn 30k baht a month so it must be real!?! On your time off you can have "Fun" in Pattaya (Although I don't think 30k will get you very far).

Question though -- why advertise in an area of "Fun" if you're not allowed to be involved with it once you become an English teacher? Seems like a natural conflict of interest there. Click on the image for a closer look. My guess is that most of the people who pay for this course will never teach in an English position. Buyer beware! Guarantees in Thailand are not enforceable by law very well. If you don't get the job you are promised, the authorities are not going to care very deeply about your complaint. This is definitely a country were the buyer has to beware.

I number of weeks ago, I reminded travelers who are coming to the Kingdom to make copies of their passport and Visa (if they have one issued from a foreign consulate). A reader this week adds the following:

Hi, Just a little tip you might like to pass on to your readers, I found it is reassuring to scan my passport and visa and e-mail it to myself in a web based e mail ie Yahoo, this supplements the paper copy that I also carry with me at all times.

Emailing a scanned copy of your passport to yourself is an added safety measure.

If your passport is lost or stolen, you'll need to go to Bangkok and visit your embassy for a replacement. If you don't have any copies of your face in that passport, you'll have a very difficult time getting the replacement. They will make you call home for faxed documents proving who you are. If you have the copies of your passport then you are ahead of the game and a replacement passport is very easy to get in just about an hour or so. The last time I checked, the cost of a replacement passport at the US consulate was about $60 USD.

This reader is commenting on last weeks article in the "Local Culture" column. That article was called We Are Thai

An excellent column on the perspective of how the Thai culture moves as one...it occurs in other countries, too. Japan is certainly the most celebrated but other Asian countries have the same thing. The only equivalent I can think of in the U.S. is in the streets of Manhattan....walk fast and look pissed off but....don't piss anyone off.

You know, it's funny....in Singapore, there was a sense of "Borg" in the way people inter-acted but it became even more pronounced when Chinese were with Chinese (and even somewhat more so when they all realized they spoke the same dialect at home) the Malays with the Malays and the Indians with the Indians....sort of a same family, different species. I think what you wrote about was one of the first things I noticed when I moved to Singapore but haven't thought about it for quite some time. Anyway...an excellent observation and I'm already looking forward to the next column.

I always like to show the numbers of readers that come to my site in one of my articles each week. it's just another way of disclosing my work in an open way. I think knowing changes in readership is interesting. I also posted the names of the most read column for this entire month. This numbers will tend to look larger for the older columns. These are just numbers that have accumulated for this month only.

Well, I feel like apologizing to you for letting Thailand take the "---" out of the night life. I don't know what to tell you. This all came as real surprise for me. I was caught completely off guard, but I guess I understand their reasons for this.

There are just too many people in the world that are making a bad name for Thailand and it's best to nip that in bud really quickly before it becomes a real public relations nightmare.

Luckily, "Fun" will still rein supreme and we all won't be completely out in the cold. There will still be straight fun and oral fun and for some of you alternative travelers, gay fun.

BUT -- you know what I say.... Don't take my word for it. Thailand can be a slippery place with scoundrels on the Internet. You can't trust any of us. You have to come here and see this place first-hand for yourself. A second hand account will just not do.

So, call your local travel agent and tell them you need take a break for some "Fun" in Thailand.