Are You Stepping Up or Stepping Back?

I typically like to present topics mostly about Thailand's culture.  Today, I'm going to deviate from this just slightly.  I want to bring up an important issue that has a great impact on us as foreigners being here in a foreign land.   I want to raise an issue that is not frequently talked about explicitly and give you my views on it.

Today's article, might very well be one of my most important articles because I believe it spotlights the vast fundamental difference between two basic types of farangs.   I want to draw your attention to it.  I want you to see it with some clarity.  I want to shake you up a little and ask you to think about your role here in the kingdom.

Now, as is common with my writings, I draw support from other articles and I write about personal accounts that have actually happened to me in Thailand.   This is just my way of explaining why I have come to take a position on an issue.

I will start off my column today by reprinting a story from the archives of the Stickman Weekly.

This appeared in the Stickman Weekly dated 13/10/2002.  Stickman was recounting a trip in Issan and he was traveling with his trusty stick kick Whosyourdaddy-AP.   (remember, we gave WYD the AP suffix in the last Galt Weekly for "Advanced Preacher" status).

I believe Stickman's girlfriend mentioned in this article may in fact today be his wife......

Let's think for a moment about what happened on this terrible day.   Let's read between these lines and try to get into the heads of the people in this story.

First we can assume there was some serious carnage at this accident because Stick calls the scene "horrific" and because of the phrase "one or two (Thais) were frantically helping".  I have personally seen Thais reacting in motorcycle accidents.   They are typically are not frantic.   If this were the case on this day then the accident victims were seriously hurt and in need of significant help.   Also notice that Stick and WYD-AP "both felt a million times better" when the ambulance arrived so obviously they had seen the severity of the accident and knew people were in probably in serious condition.

This was a situation where they had an opportunity to get involved.   Their choice was to not get involved and even pretend they didn't notice the accident.  They "Stepped Back".

In this piece Stickman says they "had a moral duty to help" -- but what good is that moral duty if you don't act on it when it is most required?   And I think we can agree then when people may be dieing, your commitment to helping people is most required.   I don't know of a situation where you help is less required.

Why would Stickman start dreaming up the possibility that if they helped they may be dealing with "unstable people"?   My personal believe is that if you are afraid to help, your mind will come up with reasons to justify your choice not to help.  And I believe this is the case with Stickman and WYD-AP.    Both of these guys had been in the Kingdom a number of year, both spoke Thai and have been involved with Thais on other levels, so clearly, they were not ignorant of Thai ways.  I would say on this day - they were afraid (assuming they are decent people otherwise).   

They claimed to be "potentially be getting ourselves involved in a situation that we really don't understand".   If people are dieing -- what more is there to understand at that moment?    Especially if you have some background in health care services.

To top all this off - look at the bold text in the article.   Stickman makes a sexual joke about WYD-AP giving mouth to mouth to Thai girls.   You know people -- I don't see the value in of this comment.  Was this to inject a little levity?  What kind of person would Stickman be appealing to with the debasement of the Thai people in this story?  Is this the way most farangs feel about the Thais?  God, I hope not. (It is any wonder that there are Thai talking badly about us?) I think if Stickman's mother were in that pile up -- this entire story would have been written quite differently. 

I don't Stickman dislikes the Thai people, in his article he suffers from not having any reason to criticize himself.  At the time he wrote this article my "NotStickman" site did not exist and in some cases he was not clearly thinking about how his words would reflect on him.    No that he does have someone examining his words, again, he would be unlikely to write this article in exactly the same demeaning way.

I could write this article with anger and scold these 2 for their inaction, but I wasn't there and I can't say with 100% certainty I would have jumped in there -- but I would believe with 99% certainly I would have.

Stickman writes: "Still, not doing anything still didn't feel right, but this is Thailand, not Farangland, and when you are not really sure of the rules of the game, my philosophy is that it is best not to play."

Not doing anything won't feel right anywhere in the world, especially here in a country like Thailand where tragedy is around most every corner.   As a guest in a foreign country, you are never going to be 100% sure of the rules of the game.   There is risk in most everything you do.    Sometimes all you have to go by is your best instincts and judgments and by what you would want someone else to do for you.

Let's address Stickman's girlfriend in this piece.  "She relayed a story of someone who spent a day or two in jail and had to pay 30,000 baht to get out, even though all they had done was try to provide assistance".   I have been in Issan myself for 5 years and I have never heard of anything like this.   I'm not saying that this situation can't happen, but what I am saying is that you don't look at one example of a miscarriage of justice to ruin your efforts in helping others in need -- and in the case above, a desperate need.

I asked a very well known x-pat who has been in the kingdom off and on for 30 years.  I believe the past 10 years he has been here continuously.  I asked him this week if he had ever heard of an 3rd party being falsely accused of wrong doing for lending help at the scene of an accident.   He could not recount such an incident.

Then I went to a local Thai man who is a pillar of the community and a resident here all his life. (He is now about 55) 

He relayed a story where he in fact was sued by a 3rd party because  he made an emergency stop on a highway at night to assistant 2 downed motorcyclists.   These two were in a pile in the middle of the road.   He stopped in front of them, his lights and emergency flashers were on and his car was in the driving lane of an open highway with headlights on the accident itself when another 3rd party smashed into the rear of his car doing about 100kph.  This 3rd cyclist was drunk but because this man was wealthy with assets, the drunk driver sued.   In this case the police would do nothing because it was a civil case. (Typically the police lock people up when there is serious evidence of a criminal act having been committed).    The local Thai business man won out his case and did not incur a penalty but he warned me that there are "stupid people" in the Thailand who will sue because they are poor and hoping for a hand out.    In this case, imagine what would have happened to the 2 downed motorist in a pile on the road IF that car had not been there!    This Thai man may have saved the lives of the down motorcycles from the drunk 3rd party just because his car was there as a barrier against this drunk cyclist.

This business man told me that he has never received trouble from anyone he helped directly.  But, again, he said that it is possible.

Personally, I have always seen the opposite of course.   I have always seen the receiver of the help deeply grateful that someone was there to "Step Up" and do what was needed.  Most will be very grateful -- as would you if you were in need.

However, risk is everywhere and Thailand.

Bar Fight Breaks out ....

This is the club where the fight broke out.  This picture shows a predominantly younger crowd.  The crowd changes from time to time based on police enforcement of the age rules. The girl in the blue is Nancy.   I have had the hots for her for couple of years.   I just recently caught up with her again and spoke with her on the street.  She talked dirty to me and I nearly blushed.  What an imagination that girls has.  She told me that she wanted to come over and just sleep with me to find out what sex with a farang was all about.  That my friends is "The Tom Cruise Effect".  Also, in this picture you see their drink of choice - whiskey.

A few nights a week I go out on the town and visit the local bars and night clubs.  About 2 years ago I was standing at table talking to a couple of girls at a local night spot when an argument broke out between two guys who are standing about 12 feet from me. (The night club is pictured at the right)

This place was a small disco/restaurant place.  It has a glass enclosed indoor area that holds about 100 people and it has a covered wooden deck outside of about the same size.  

These guys looked to be in their 30's and they started out fairly slowly at first and were just yelling at each other a bit.   They were at about 11 o'clock to my position and were not causing anyone any grief.  Not much was noticed over the loud music.   A few minutes later, a table was shaken and a glass hits the floor and breaks.   People saw that.  Then rather quickly more glasses were toppled and broke and tempers are flared.  Others are beginning to watch.  The two jostled each other briefly without throwing punches.  I'm noticing the commotion.   The normal security guy "Pee Phanom" is outside on the outer deck unaware of the immanent eruption.

Just then, the guy furthest from me (facing my way) picked up a small metal chair and threw it at angle past the other guy and it flew to my 2 o'clock position and a Katoey jumped away from an adjacent table (which is near mine) and that chair slammed into the outer glass wall and bounced down to the floor.  I'm surprised the windows didn't break.  No one was hurt.

At that point I felt alarmed and I instinctively made a move.  I suppose I was ready for it.   I walked right over to disarm the situation.   The man with his back to me seemed more passive so I confronted the one who threw the  chair.  He probably had some unkind words for me but I wasn't hearing them too well.

I engaged him and wedged his right arm between my two arms.   My hands were clasped tight and I twisted my body in a downward motion.  I leaned in on him putting the full weight of my body on his arm.   He had no where to go but down.  I kept telling him in Thai over and over -- stop, don't.    I'm watching over my shoulder at the other and he is not moving.  I keep pushing down and within about minute my left knee is resting on the cement floor and his body is somewhere below that point partially resting on some of that glass he broke.

I have worn him out.  He relents.  I sense that he has regained his composure.   I slowly let him up.  He seems content to walk out and I'm happy to let him leave.

I return to the girl's table.   I assessed my damage.  I'm wore shorts on that hot summer night and my bare knee that settled onto the floor was mildly encrusted with small glass fragments.  I'm was bleeding a little bit but it didn't hurt that much.  I scraped my knee and clean it up.

A few minutes later, I see that same guy talking to the security guy "Pee Phanom".  They both are on the outskirts of the deck.  They must know each other.

Several patrons in the club came up to me, and thanked me for stepping in and reducing that danger.  They were very grateful.  They were more than grateful they were surprised that I would stick my neck out for them.  (I won't tell you exactly what they said because you'll think I'm just being boastful.)  It's at moments like these that the Thai community feels like family to me.  I felt like I had done the right thing.   It felt damn good.

Just then, the man who I restrained returns.  He walks up to me.  And I don't see an angry posture, but I'm still on guard.  I have not had anything like this happen before.  I'm ready for anything.

As it turned out, he came to thank me and he wai'd me in a very respectful way.  I couldn't believe it.  I almost fell over in disbelief.  At that moment I didn't quite appreciate what was happening and I didn't return the wai (as would be customary).  Shortly after he walked away and the entire incident was over.

I was later told that both of these guys were off duty police officers.   I thought to myself -- "oh this is great. I now have to think about having issues with the local police."   I was concerned for a while, but nothing ever followed up from it.  That incident happened probably 2 years ago now.

They were drunk.  They were getting out of control, and when they crossed a line that suggested they may hurt someone, I make a prudent move to put a clamp on the situation.  I didn't strike anybody.  I didn't get angry. 

I was lucky.  I could have been hurt.  One of the guys could have pulled a knife on me.   When you "Step Up", you have to accept those types of risks.

Braver than a Tiger?

This was posted on MangoSquash (mangosauce.com).  A reader there posted a message:

This was posted by a guy reader named Jamie in the "Mango Sauce returns in a couple of week's" article.

This comment is made in response to my "digs" against Stickman and the articles that I write about Stickman here on this site.   

My reaction to this is to say that I have plenty to loose.  We all have something to loose.   Life is about risk.  It's about standing up and being counted.   Sometimes life is about more than just one man's personal selfish needs.   Sometimes the correct action is to have a say.  

Who are the Real Tigers?

We all are short on courage.  We don't know a damn thing about courage.  I did know a "Tiger" at one time.

Allow me to tell you just a little about James Henry Warder II.   Jim Warder was a Marine who was active in the south pacific during World War II.   Jim's son was married to my mother back in the late 70's.   My mother's second marriage ended a few years later and so I lost contact with Warder family over the many years that followed.   Here in the photo, the arrow points to Jim senior.  To the right, Jim III, Colleen (Jim's wife) and his Mother.   I am the in the foreground.  I believe I am 16 in this picture and a Freshman in high school.

I really wish that I had retained a better picture of Jim.  He was very fit and had a steely grin, strong chin line, short well groomed moustache, and piercing eyes.  He was a no BS kind of person and you knew it the moment you laid eyes on him.  To tell you the truth at first I was a little afraid of him, but he reached out to me and in time he was calling me his "Goomba" (he said this meant "wise and trusted friend").   Jim and family were from Buffalo NY, and Jim was a professional photographer after the war.   I saw the pictures of famous people on his wall including Tony Bennett and Bob Hope.   Jim was a man's man.   He knew what courage was.  He told me a few things from the war.  Jim saved men's lives and he took men's lives.  It was a terrible job, but one that had to be done.

I don't doubt for a second that Jim would instinctively help anyone at a traffic accident.  He was always in a "can do" mind set.  I felt his deep "belonging" to the service of others.  He was also a fierce protector of his family.  He looked at me and said with absolute resolution, "Keith, you ever, ever need me, you call me and I will be there".  And then he gave me this big smile.  It wasn't until many years later that I really came to appreciate what he had spoken to me.

Jim fought in the campaigns of Guadalcanal, Saipan, Tinian, and Okinawa and if anyone out there happens to stumble upon this web page and knows the whereabouts of Jim Warder, please contact me or send him my email address because I would really like to find him.   Jim would be about 85 years old today IF he is still alive.

I don't know if I'll ever make a contribution to the world like Jim and the others who fought with him have made.  I am in complete awe of the that kind of bravery and self sacrifice.  And believe it or not, those men include the likes of Mr. Rogers and Captain Kangaroo (check it out).

Bank Exchange Rate Update

Two weeks ago, I mentioned an error with the Bangkokpost.com on the reporting of the exchange rates.   I noticed that the exchange rates for pulling US dollars over to Thailand were way off.  The Bangkokpost posted an article very briefly explaining the reason for the discrepancy.  Bath Set For Appreciation

In this article it states that the local market and the off-shore market are two different entities?  WTF?  I never heard or seen this before.   Typically the trade rate is the trade rate.

What is the point of calling the value of the dollar inside Thailand different than the value of the dollar everywhere else in the free world?

This looks like the Thai government screwing around with controls on the local market.   Not allowing local access to the dollars lower value keep a people from freely buying dollars when the baht is strong.   If everyone has sold the baht and bought the dollar, and then if the baht has taken a tumble - everyone would have cashed in and made a quick 10% on their money.

However, with the situation of the split market on the Baht --  if you would have jump on a plane with a large wade of cash (baht), and flown to a nearby county who would pay world prices for the baht in dollars, and then flown back into Thailand with dollars and cashed back out to baht, you could have made an instant 6% on that money.

I am not an expert in the world of finance and I'm sure I may be missing something, but I'm going to make a blanket statement here.  Generally, Thailand seems to normally bend and break sound economic rules and then when trouble comes they have to resort to shifty actions to patch up the damages.   Seems like they are always "Robbing Peter to pay Paul" and this is the kind of behavior that is going to lead to another major economic miss-step.

Then this week, I pulled money out of the bank again and something strange happened.  I asked for 500 baht more than I knew my limit would allow and I received the money.   I came back to the office and checked the trade rates again.  The BangkokPost said 35.49 and  www.xe.com said 33.90.   As it turned out -- I received about 35 baht for the dollar.   Wow, now the system is working in reverse.

I made two such withdrawals and both gave me the BangkokPost exchange rate and the XE.com rate is now off.

In months past both the BangkokPost rates and XE.com had been nearly identical.   So, I don't know what's happening with it.   But, it looks like the exchange rate is around 35 (out of the ATMs) for those of you who are following it.

Update Coming:  Next week we'll have more on this to help clarify the 2 rate system (a reader has responded to my serious lack of knowledge on the subject).

Future Electronics Trouble in Paradise?

If you talk to a go-go club owner or manager, they will tell you that they don't want photos of naked girls getting out of the club.   They say that upper government feel the repercussions in a world wide setting.  Those government officials call the police and tell them to tone it down a bit.  Then the police go to the club owners and crack down on the nudity.

So, in essences, if you want to screw a go-go club over, or all the clubs over, all you would have to do is post a lot of nudity from their clubs on the internet and then somehow allow that exposure to make it Thai officials.   And of course if enough of this gets out - the whole industry could feel the impact if a crack down on nudity.   This is how it was explained to me.

Well, a couple of week ago (Feburary 15th), BangkokBadBoy.com posted a link to what is supposedly an AngleWitch video taken in Nana plaza.   Its a good video.  It shows a few things and it captures the nude dancing very well.  If you haven't seen it already -- take a peek AngelWitch Video (I don't know how long this link will be good for)

I believe this is the same club that www.DaveTheRaveBangkok.com manages.   I emailed Dave and asked him if I could ask a few questions to him as a club manager.  I wanted to do a "mini interview" of sorts and ask him questions about this video but he replied:

So, I never did tell Dave what the questions were about..... So, the next time you see him, ask him about this AngelWitch video on BangkokBadBoy.com. 

(of course, Dave could be giving a snow job because he is pretty tight with Stickman.  Dave would probably refuse any willing cooperative exchange with me because, hey, I "dis" one of his friends)

I bet the club owners are concerned about such electronic recordings freely circulating at places like UTube.

My question to them would be --  How are they going to combat rogue electronic surveillance like this and keep the girls O-natural? (the way it should be)

Numbers for the Week

These are the numbers for the week before last.   I missed recording this past week because the Google software seemed to be screwed up a bit.   It will be interesting to see what happens to the numbers once Stickman's weekly comes back on line.  (A little birdie told me that we may be seeing a column from him this Sunday)

I would have to say that I'm still surprised that I still have this much readership.   Perhaps the thoughts and views of this "one man" is not just a flash in the pan?   Perhaps the readers appreciate not being lied to?   I'm not sure yet.   But, I am grateful to have this opportunity to share with others.

OH, I Almost Forget to Tell You...

It finally happened this week.   I knew it was coming.  I had talked about it to several readers but this week was the big week.

I finally met a reader face to face.  I had a reader make a special trip over in my direction from a nearby province and he walked right into my company and introduced himself.   So, I now have met John from Australia.  We had a nice visit.  He was very kind to me.

The Wrap Up

So how do we best wrap up the idea about "Stepping Up"?   There is no clear cut right and wrong to this issue.   Generally, I think you need to be "Stepping up and stepping forward" if you have the talent to do so. 

Everything has risk and most things have reward.   Rarely is there reward without the risk.  And let's face it -- Thailand is a developing country.  There is some risk here but I think you would agree this is not a bad place to be.  Iraq would be far more unpleasant and dangerous.

Thailand has great people.   If you need help, they would help you.  If your house caught on fire and you were out in the cold, you would not be there long before someone came and offered you a place to sleep.  They would make that happen for you.  I know they would.   They are a compassionate people.  They are a lovely people and I think of them very much like family.   I think that is why I like it here so much.   

In the states I'm the black sheep in my family.  I'm often misunderstood and sometimes I felt unappreciated.  (Did you think that I became someone new under the pretense of the "NotStickman" concept?  Its not like I haven't ruffled some feathers in the world before)

But here, I get to a beacon of light to a few.  I'm allowed to guide a company and through my prior experiences and education I have an positive affect on a handful of small families.   That is a responsibly.   That is a privilege.  Its a risk with reward.

I'm not suggesting that you need to be the equivalent of a World War II veteran with combat experience to be a "Tiger".   What I am saying is that you should have the instinct to stand up for what is right and be ready to help others when you can.  You should have it clear in your mind that you are either going to Step Up or Step Back so when the time comes, you won't be confused about what you're going to do.

If you happen to be on a street where you see what looks like a rabid dog on the prowl (you having knowledge of such things because you are from the west with a superior education)  Go ahead and be a pest and contact the local police and help protect the community.   Make a fuss.   Call out the problem and feel good about possibly saving a child from danger.   Be a "NotStickman" type - if you can call it that.   Take a little chastisement from those who say you shouldn't be sticking your nose in other peoples' business.  

One more short note:  You efforts can be quite small as well.  There is small girl here (age 6 or 7) who is sometimes with her mother and grandmother working in the night market.   This little girl is scared of me.  And her instinct is the turn to anger and she rears back her arm to strike me and basically poses in a "striking" position.  I know where this comes from.  I have seen her mother (age 24) shake her daughter a little in anger and evidently, her mother is an angry person at home.  That is a hard situation, but you know - I love bomb that little girl.  Every time I see her, I fuss over her a bit and I talk to her in Thai and I'm going to keep on reaching out to her and I'm going to win her over.   I'm going to unlock that fear and what looks like hate and turn it into friendship.  It's something that I can do.  I'm a farang.  I stand out here.  I may be counted as something special because of the "good press" Hollywood gives me (us).  My efforts might take a few years with this girl, but it's something that could make a huge difference in how she grows up.  

Is there anything more rewarding than this?   People if you are here in Thailand, "Step up".  You won't regret it.

Thanks for stopping by.

John Galt